Don't fall off the mountain top...
I can get on top of the mountain from where I am now!

ISAIAH 2:1-8

Show me you ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you... (Psalm 25:4-7)

Perfection is not ours to have

Is perfection our end goal?

If it is, I have a long way to go. It is challenging and heart breaking to please anyone. I used to feel I have a good handle on my life. I use to be the oh-so-knowing-independent teen. I had the energy and confidence that I can handle things and I'm well-matured for my age. Now I'm older, I realized I had the teenage syndrome bad! I'm passed my teens and I'm supposedly wiser but I feel inexperienced with life. I may have experienced love but not mastered my love life. I may have dealt with my hot temparament but not mastered patience. I may have finished my nursing bachelor's degree but not my career. I may have graduated from my teenage years but I'm just starting my young adult years. I'm have a long way to perfection.

Does God demands perfection from us?

Do you know God will command His angels to shut quiet so He can listen to us worship. If we think about it between angels' voice and ours, angels definetly win. They have this mystical "angelic" voice and we have our tone deaf, high pitched, non-lasting voice but God always choose to listen to us. Do you know God has over 30,000 promises to men in the Bible. As humans we are given so many promises that only our species can have. Futhermore, these are no ordinary promises--its eternal promises but not all we claim.Do you know that we have the most freedom any living thing can have. We can do whatever we want. I like the movie where angels were jealous of humans. Some of the angels gave up their mortality to have a short time of being human. This movie may be fiction but I like the thought were the perfect creation are jealous of us.

God is always waiting for us but we fail to speak to Him. Over 30,000 promises are reserved for us but we fail to claim it all, some choose to forfeit it. We are given free will but we fail to be free from the world. There are even those who try their hardest to isolate themselves from God because they want to be free from the thought that a God rules over them yet they imprison themselved with vices.

I embrace my humanity but it does not mean I embrace my individuality. I'm not speaking of individuality being unique. I am unique, we all are. I speak individuality in a sense of independence or dependence on my own humanity. There are choices to be done and I'm not confident to do it on my own. I am prideful, reckless and undisciplined. These are few of my human trade marks.

I'm greatful I know I have the choice to rely on God who can never fail me. Despite of stressful circumstances, my soul tells me God got me wraped around His arms. I am confident He will never leave nor forsake me. I also know He will love me more during my imperfections. All this is true as long as I keep my individuality; humanity in check. Why would I depend on mysself, if I can depend on someone who is perfect.

I am not perfect but I have a perfect God.

O. Chambers mentioned in one of his devotional book, Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. He defines Christian perfection as the "perfection of relationship to God wihch shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life.Thoughts about ourselves hinder our uselfulness to God. God is not after perfecting us to be a specimen in His showroom; He is getting us to the place where He can use us.

Image: Popular posts by Buffy1996 Rape by serial rapist,1979

Venting Out vs. Nagging Out

As humans, we have this need to vent out and nag. These are ways to empty our emotional bottle. I also think we think too much of ourselves (deliberately or not). In reality, there is someone out there who is suffering far more than we do. I agree when O. Chambers states "[we] tendency is to look for the marvelous in our experience." We put too much of a big deal to what is and just happened to us.

I am blessed and thankful to live in Canada. My parents work hard to give me and my siblings what they did not have growing up in a ghetto part of the Phillipiines. My family may not have the monetary richness that can allow me to buy anything I want, but I never missed a meal and never had to sleep in the streets; but I am guilty of venting and nagging whenever I am with problems. When I get overwhelm and fail to my vices, I search for marvelous reason, why things are happening--makes me feel special and justified. My favorite character in the early BC, King David, was far better in handling troubles and persecutions. According to history, David is a vent-out-kind of a guy. The only difference between his and my venting out, he vents out to God who listens and can do something. That is why his venting moments were compiled into Psalms. Half of his Psalms are about him venting out. Another difference is after he vent out, he fully rely on God. No wonder his venting outs became Psalms and mine did not.

Nagging, on the other hand, leads to bitterness. Nothing happens so we nag, nag, and nag some more. Even after everything gets better we nag just because we experienced it. Nagging is to bother with repeated complains about insignificant matters. Things we complain becomes insignificant because people tend to brush it off. "I've heard that before" is commonly the notion in the response we get. Dictionary defines it as "to verbally abuse".

One character that is well known to nag is Job's wife. She is introduced after Job, one of the richest and greatest men of his time. However to prove Job' s faithfulness to God, both her and Job suffered from attacks of the enemy. She suffered almost as much as Job did. Except for her health, she too lost her children, live stock, and security. However, her response were different from her husband. She (Job 2:9; 19:17; 31:1O) has been called everything from the "adjutant of the devil" to the "faithful attendant upon her husband's misery". Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I myself may succumb into bitterness, and anger if I face the same misfortune. I'm no super woman and far from the expelimentary character of faithfulness and discipline of Job. Fortunately, due to Job's faithfulness, God gave back what they have lost and much more.

When we vent out, we tend to receive empathy. When we nag, we tend to receive a brush off or forced compliance. Which way is better? David was definetly heard and led to overcome his troubles, Job's nagging wife got the leprosy. We need to vent out otherwise we'll explode after being bottled up but be cautious, there's a fine line between venting out and nagging. Lets try not to exaggerate things and be in such misery. Let's live and love life. Give God all the thanksgiving. We don't need to make such a big fuzz about troubles and weaknesses, we all meant to have it and God dealt with it. He won the war! We just need to win the battles, even then God is with us.

Catch the Rhythm of the Heart

I'm a nurse and I consider it pure joy to be one. Its a calling and far more than a job. I learned from nursing school those who decided to go to nursing because of money later on become the bitter nurses or close to being Nurse Hatchet, the coldly efficient controling nurse who conducts theraphy session only to reinforce her patients' weaknesses. One can also get to be the oh-so-honourable Queen Nurse. There can only one Queen Nurse per ward. She knows everything about the ward and very meticulously knowledgeable in theory and nursing experience. The Queen Nurse can be very informative and helpful but her ego flares up. She is on top of everything and everything works for her; thus, change is not an option.

I'm a cardiac nurse and heart is mine to master. To name a few, I am thankful for beta blockers, nitro and ECG monitor. Pacemaker and Angiogram are also on top of the things I am thankful. The level and ranges of intervention and prevention we have to day surely increase our chances to live longer despite of our faulty health choices.

In the ward I work, the load is heavy in assessment and intervention. There were also down times where I can brush up on my medical theories and policies and increase team morale through chatting with collegues. I had rotations that somewhat challenging but there were also that totally pushed me to stretch and step out from my comfort zone.

Story: It was the second day of my rotation and very promising to be a smooth day. Second day is better than first because I've met my patients the day before and had situated a plan care already. However, few hours after the shift started we called for Code Blue, a patient of my collegue suddenly lost consciousness with dropping BP and rapid heart rate. CODE BLUE is when a pack of expert staff rush in to intervene in a situation that is detrimental to a patient's life. Imagine episodes in ER but less drama and love affairs. The patient that coded ended up being transfered to ICU for one to one nursing care. That afternoon, we were told the patient had a massive cranial bleeding and had a stoke.

Obviously the day started busy but it was manageable. One of my patient was a 91 years old who came in with a heart failure. I had him before and he and his family know me. Despite of his heart failure, he looks well for a 91 year old. He told me he used to be a professional trainer, who trains athletes to compete in olympics. One funny sitution I had with him and his son was when I was changing his IV dressing and I had to take off the old run down tape and it was very painful for him due to his hairy arms. He sounded like I was waxing him. His son said, "a lot of athletes right now are cheering for you." His son added that back then there was only tape to wrap patient hands, or legs or arms and taking it off was brutal. As his son was telling the story, I imagine echoing of cries of well built athletes in the locker room. We all laughed and my heart smiled when I saw my patient's smile as we reminsiced about his years of fulfilled life.

That day, my patient complained of being nauseated. I gave him gravol with great effect but the nausea soon came back. The day went on and my patient still nauseated but refused to have some more gravol. He stayed in bed all day. Late in my shift, I went out of ward for my dinner break. I left my patient eating his dinner with his son helping him. After my break, the ward was freaky quiet. The unit clerk was attentively watching the tele monitor as if watching a movie. One of the senior nurse came out from my patient's room. She looked worried. I went in to my patient's room and found him grasping for air. I was stunned. I was not yet updated what was happening but I knew things were not looking good. When my collegue updated me, I learned that she saw in the monitor that my patient's heart rhythm critically changed so she checked up on him. She found him short of breath walking from the BR with his son assisting him. She safely guided him back to bed and check his vitals. The patient's hear was racing, he was diaphoretic and oxygen supplement was not helping with his breathing. I came back from my break after 20 minutes his symptoms started. 5 minutes later he died. I witnessed his death; I saw his face change from color flesh to grey, I watched him take his last breath, and I catched the rhythm of his heart fail. He died from a heart attack.

In situations like this... do I still want to be a nurse? definitely Yes! its challenging and fulfilling. It can be dreary and grey but often times it so rewarding.

The Mystery of Driving

I 've been in the passenger's seat for too long and one of my goal this year is to be a licensed driver. I had my learner's permit since 2002. I didn't pursue my license eagerly in the past because I didn't see it necessary since I can't afford a car. Fortunatley, I made my parents so happy and proud in finishing nursing this year that they extravagantly set aside a car money for me. I saw the cheque, I saw it! Their not backing out in one condition-- I need to show them my driver's license.

How hard can a driving test be? I gladly driven and faced the exciting traffic and ubrupt changing climate of Metro Manila. I also driven a in the the torrid dessert of Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA) ... I'm destined to be a driver...

But for some reason, I just can't qualify to get a level 7 license. Don't even ask how many times I took my driving test. I'll give you the equation and leave it at that: atleast once a year I tried.

I wonder why? my baby brother and sisters enjoy my driving.

To be honest, I'm getting frustrated but I still have my hope, I still dream of long trips and joy rides for my future, convoys and drive throughs as well...

Few months ago, I went to Philippines to visit my family and here is the list that I learned from expert jeepney drivers and experienced cab drivers. I also included the lessons I learned watching drivers in Canada.

• When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.
• Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
• The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
• Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guys might be looking for an insurance claim and doesn't have anything to lose.
• Turn signals will give away your next move
• Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow
• The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit
• If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs
• Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in during rush hour
• Master street corners where police mobile typically park.
• Never speed up in a lane construction closure. As my professionally licensensed beloved friend says, it's "double-the-penalty" if you get caught.
• Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire
• If the driver in front of you, especially a truck, flashes his left turn signal a few times, he may be telling you that it is safe to pass. But he may be wrong.
• If a driver approaching from the opposite direction flashes his headlights it may mean, "police ahead, watch your speed", or "I have screwed up big time by trying pass this vehicle so please give me some room by heading for the shoulder."
• The largest vehicle has the right of way, except deer always have the right of way and squerrels come second.

Therefore, before this year ends...

I will be a licensed driver.

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday.. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column,
much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote
this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked
some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu
for a single one of those meals But I do know this. They all nourished me
and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me
these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone
to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are
DOWN to nothing... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible,
believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our
physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus,
could you get that for me?"

(Forwarded Email)

God, Why?

I am not a great writer and not as eliquent as other blogers but I choose to share hoping that it might help those who are similarly situated as me--imperfect and who fails miserably during temptations.

I have asked God countless times why He made me weak and imperfect that bring me so much distress and loneliness. I have asked Him to change me and my circumstances. I have asked Him who I am and where my place is. I also asked Him why do I have to cry...

I did not get straight forward answers because I was asking the wrong questions. My questions were about understanding myself so I can overcome my circustances. It was not about understanding His plans and purpose. It was not about Him. Fortunately, I learned that God's purpose is not the development of man; God's purpose is to make a man exactlty like Him, and the characteristic of Jesus is self-expenditure (O. Chambers) not self-realization.

A man named Nick Vujicic also asked God the Why? question. Nick was born without arms and legs. Nick grew up facing tremendous obstacles trusting God who he felt has given him less. Nick asked,
"God why have you not given me what you gave others?"
"Why did you take my arms and legs?"
"Why didn't you game me what everybody else has?"

Nick challenged God that he will not open his heart to Him until He answer his questions. As he grew up with his disability, he waited for God to answer. When he was 8 years old he tried to take his life by drowning himself in his parent's bath tub. He failed to go through it because of his love for his parents. One day, his mother showed him an article about a man with severe physical disability that greatly impacted him. He learned that he has a choice to be either be angry with God of what he does not have or be thankful of what has has. Nick's mother also told him, "Nick, God is going to use you; I don't know how, I don't know when, but God's gonna use you."

Since then, Nick served God faithfully. He learned that God can heal without changing the circumstances and it is useless to be complete in the outside but broken in the inside. There will be no outside satisfaction if there is no peace inside. Nick changed and saw himself whole. Nick does not ask God why anymore because he "is not a man without arms and legs but a child of God."

God answered Nick's questions that I believe answers our questions too. So typical of Jesus, He answers question with a question. His answer--"Do you trust Me?" It is not about Nick being physically disable or me being defensive and stubborn or you and your issues, it is about trusting God that He has a purpose.

Reminders when we find ourselved asking "God, Why?":

-God is love and His love endures forever. Therefore, He does not want to punish us. The Cross should be enough of a proof and reminder how much He loves you and me.

-God is Just. He wants us to be with Him. When we sin this desire gets jeopardized becasue "He cannot tolerate sin" and we "need to be like Him." Therefore, His being just results to punish sin and to discipline and to teach us so that we can be free to be with Him.

-God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We cannot comprehend everything, which is the reason we ask Why.

-He knows you and me even before we were born and He has plans to prosper and not to harm us. Since we cannot understand everything, believing and reminding ourselves that He has plans for us should ease our mind.

Just don't dare to ask "God, Why?" Since God has the ultimate and unquestionable reasons, asking "Why God?" is just merely whinning. So if it will help your situation to whine, go ahead ask away. However, if I were you ask "What God?" What can I do for YOU?...

Image by Slim_Laurence at google.com

Humanity on the Verge of Extinction

This heading may not be as absurd as it sounds. The problem is obesity. In 2001, The Genuine Progress Index for Atlantic Canada estimated 2,000 British Columbia residents die prematurely each year from obesity-related illness, such as diabetes and heart problems, losing 8,000 potential years of life annually.

In my nursing experience, I see both in hospital and community settings the growing number of clients from various age groups that are over-weight. They report numerous health symptoms and suffer life-threatening diagnoses that are linked with their weight.

According to Statistics Canada (2004), an estimated 500,000 children and 5.5 million adults are obese. The obesity rates among children and adults have more than doubled during the past 25 years.

I believe that obesity is a health problem that urgently needs to be addressed. Failure to do so could take away years of life that could be shared with loved ones.

Obesity is not an impossible problem to solve. It is recognized as the second leading preventable cause of death after cigarette smoking.

In order to address obesity, we must look at the lifestyle and diet choices we have.

In my personal experience, children in my family often ask for fries and burgers. They are not just asking for any kind, they want the ones that come with a toy, famously known as the “Kid’s Combo”. We too prefer fast food meals more often that we should. It is much faster to have and, with ketchup on the side, it’s great for the taste buds. However, fast food is rich in trans fats, cholesterol and calories. Food experts believe that these are not suitable for the human body, which can lead to the deterioration of arteries and organs.

Fast food advertisements are everywhere in TV commercials, billboards, newspapers, magazines and radio. Attention-grabber posters in various sizes and eye-catching colours are all around us. Where are the huge billboards with green leafy vegetables? The only time we can see healthy foods being advertised are in diet ads or in small print stating, "As part of a healthy balanced diet and active lifestyle."

We can do better! In nursing I learned about strategies to promote a healthy and long life such as the 3 P’s: Prefer, Promote, and Practice.

Prefer. The Canada Food Guide suggests dark greens and orange vegetables, meat alternatives such as beans and tofu, fresh fruit and grain products. This menu might look a tad bland but you could experiment with different recipes and you’ll get the hang of it. You should drink plenty of water to wash things down.

Promote. The major excuse we use to avoid healthy eating habits is the lack of time. Who packs healthy lunches these days? Time is a luxury we cannot afford; however, we believe planning is the solution. Time is best used when planning meals. You could try to prepare meals in advance and store them in the freezer. Instead of lying on the couch on the weekend, you can walk to the nearest grocery store and buy fresh fruits and vegetables. If fresh foods are not an option due to financial constraints, you could pay more attention to nutrition labels, and opt for a healthier choice. It might not be the freshest, but it is better than running to the nearest fast food outlet.

Practice. It is important to combine a healthy diet with an active lifestyle. Instead of spending so much time using technology, you should be more active as a person. You could walk to the bank and pay your bills instead of paying them online. Rather than spending your evenings watching TV, you can try different recreational activities that you always wanted to do, such as signing up for a dance class or joining a sport’s team.

Optimal health should be what we strive for and healthy eating is the first step.

Clearly, obesity can cause premature death but there is a way to fight it and live longer. Following a healthy diet and an active lifestyle can be tough but practice makes it better—better for our health and life expectancy. Keep that in mind.

Stop asking, "Do I look fat in this dress?"... do something about it!

I am. I'm 30 lbs overweight for my height. I love to eat and I love deep fried but I had enough of gaining weight, inactive life, and huffing and puffing after climbing few flights of stairs. Join me and be challenged. Let's do it not for the fitted dress but to live longer and enjoyable life.

Everyone has their healthy slim self inside them, raving to get out...

Get over It, Move on, & Be Mighty

Well-mentioned characters or the “big men” in the Bible such as Abraham, Moses, David, and Peter have at least once made bad choices in their lives.

• When Abraham should have stayed in the land and trusted the Lord, he fled to Egypt because of the drought. And this was by no means the last of Abraham’s failures.


• Moses, in trying to help his people, ran ahead of the Lord and killed the Egyptian. Later, against the command of God, he struck the rock in his anger.


• When David should have been out in the field of battle, he stayed home and committed adultery with Bathsheba and then plotted the murder of her husband.


• Peter, in spite of his self-confidence and his great boast, denied the Lord, as did the rest of the disciples who fled before the evening our Lord’s arrest was over.
  (J. H Keathley)

“Stand Up! What are you doing in your face?”—Joshua 7:10

These characters are well trained and disciplined by their love of God; however, they were not perfect. Only God is perfect. Though they failed not just once but many times and in some significantly, they recovered magnificently, which is why their names and life are worth mentioning in the Bible. They use their failures as tools for personal and spiritual growth. They did not have any pity party!

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." –1 John 1:9

“The Lord knows the thoughts of man; He knows that they are futile” (Psalms 94:11). Nevertheless, He is forgives and gives second chances... even more chances. Apostle Peter denied Jesus three times, but Jesus, who knew Peter’s nature strength and infirmity chose him to be the leader of the disciples. Peter was Jesus’ successor in heading the apostles and disciples. More importantly, he redeemed his integrity by successfully leading the spreading the Good News across the continent.

“I will never leave you, nor forsake you” –Hebrews 13:5

These men became SOMEONE not because of their failure but how they faced their failures and became mighty. They saw their failures as a situation of opportunities. I’m sure they were unexplainably dismayed after being rebuked and stripped off of their integrity, like any normal person. Fortunately, God does not give up on anyone. With God’s hand at work, these men got over it, moved on, and became might men. They all left precious legacies that the generation after them benefited. They all set an example that many follows. They were normal people that became extraordinary.

“The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything." --Theodore Roosevelt

November 3, 2008

Things to Do on Lazy Days

There are many things that hinder people to have a break. When given the time to have a day- off from work or school, planning what to do is another task to face... I personally dislikes hassles and high maintenance tasks so let me share few of the things I enjoy doing that require no planning...

The no.1 fav thing I like to do is EAT..EAT..EATing Out!

Have a break... have some sushi!
Anyone who really knows me will agree that one of the things I can't say "No" to is sushi... My personal belief about sushi (no matter what other says)...its not fatty so you can never get too much of it.

My friends and I RARELY go to Japanese Resto & look at the menu... we all know what we're getting... ALL YOU CAN EAT! Why pay 7.95 for a bento box, when you can have it all for only 10.00.. of course you need to wait till after 9pm to get this awesome deal.


Its pretty obvious when I'm stressed... you can see it on my cheeks & middle part... hihihi... its aight' the only one who got a problem with that is my bestfriend (oh' well he means well).



Before I go to my next fav, Bino's resto is worth mentioning... This ragged ol'dinner along Kingsway just hooked me since my first visit in 2003

Bottomless coffee

& Breakfast-All-Day

only for $4.95

Next on my list is SNOWBOARDING!

Meet my board, "Lamar Blue." My kuya gave her to me as a Christmas gift (2006). She's been with me through bumps, bruises, ouwies & curves... I got tons of em'

New Fav of mine (2007) is KARAOKE!

Its not really the singing I like, it's watching my animated friends sing a high note... barely making it & still get 100% in the score board.

The miracle of magic mic!

There are tons of things to do on any lazy day that I would like to mention; however, one vital thing to rememeber: Day-offs are for rest so if the body just wants to rest it will rest no matter what you have decided to do...

in the mall ... in the car... or in the hang out place.

...which ever you decide have a delightful break !

Salvation, Use it or Loose it!

“Use it or Loose it” is a one of those cliche that means exactly what it states. One researcher used this cliche by pointing out an important reminder about using our brain. He states that if we don’t use our brain, we'll loose it, which means the brain is a part of our body that needs to be maintained and developed.

How about God's Salvation? Does it need maintenance as well? I have encountered and read about people who believe salvation does not need maintenance, that is, they believe once they receive God's salvation, they are A-okay for life. The pharisees in the Book of Matthew is an example. The pharisees were living a life with power over the people. However when John the Baptist saw them coming to watch, he denounced them. “You brood of snakes!” he exclaimed. “Who warned you to flee God’s coming wrath? Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don’t just say to each other, ‘We’re safe, for we are descendants of Abraham.’ That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones.(Matthew 3:7-10).
John rebuked the pharisees publicly due to their display of arrogance and faulty confidence. He called them “brood of snakes.” No doubt, this is humiliating for the pharisees, who are authority figures. Why did John the Baptism called them snakes? Because the pharisees are being hypocrites- all words but no actions. The pharisees talk about God's commandments and tells their listeners to obey them but they themselves were corrupt and deceitful. The pharisees assumed they were safe because they are children of Abraham but John rebuked them and reminded them that they need to prove by the way they live that they have repented from their sins and turned to God.

This exerpt from the Bible shows saying “I repent” is not enough, repentance is more than words. It needs to be proven through how one lives—exerting effort to live righteously with the fear of Lord and for God’s pleasure. In other words we can not keep a life of sin and still hold onto our salvation. Keep in mind that repentance is much more than stopping the very act of committing the sins that we are asking forgiveness for. Repentance is actually the act of turning away from doing those sins--not committing them anymore and changing our lives in such a way as we no longer want or desire to commit those sins. God gave us the free will to make our own choices. If we decide not to walk in the darkness then we will not loose our salvation and its privelege. It is very important to note that God will not force us to come to Him. He is not going to get down on His knees and beg us to believe Him, trust Him, or accept Him. Nor will He force us to love Him or demand our obedience.

I admit, its hard to live according to God's guidance 24/7. The enemy works so hard for the bad things to be so enticing that it is hard to ignore. It would have been easier if He choose. When I sin and fail to ask for fogiveness and to change my ways, it feels as if I am telling God that my salvation "is not worth the effort". That I do not wish to have His gift of eternal salvation. That I want to make it through this life on my own without any help from Him. That I will follow the ways of the world rather than the ways of my Lord (tsk tsk to me...). Whenever I'm having a difficult time to follow Him, I sing to God the song “Take my Life,” by Third Day, a Christian rock band. The lyrics goes “Please take for me my life when I don’t have the strength to give it away to You…” First time I heard this song was when I was just a new Christian, both excited and overwhelmed with the changes in my life. Walking in the narrow path can be really challenging and difficult. I used to ask God to take my free will and choose for me. I was desperate to turn my ways and the rate I was going, it seemed it will take me an eternity to change.

I don't ask for God to take my free will anymore but I do pray that He take over me. I understand that God chose not to choose for me because He wants me to decide for myself, its more rewarding. I also understand God choosing for me is the easy way. God never takes the easy way! He chose the difficult way for Himself as well. He chose to be humiliated and crucified to prove something and to increase the chance of human kind to be saved and be His. He could have easily made us choose to follow Him all the time but He did not. He desires for us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling...for His will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12b-13 ).

Zzzz time.. is it necessary?

Health care workers recommend sleep as an essential part of healing and healthy lifestyle. However its purposes are only partly clear and are the subject of intense research (Bingham, et al.).

For some people, sleep is a phenomena or an extraordinary event. Ask any nursing student about sleep and they'll probably ask you to define it and use it in a sentence. Closing of eyes to rest for nursing students is called napping (max 2hrs), not sleeping. A bed for nursing students are no longer for sleeping but a place to put their feet up while reading a 4 inch think medical surgical book or a rectangular shape thing they bought in Ikea as a place to put their nursing books because their shelves are full.

I work in a hospital and I'm amazed how many of my clients sleep late and wake up very early. When I asked one of my older client about his sleeping habit he replied, "I don't sleep, I only take naps.. I have been sleeping all my life." Is he telling me something profound or just simply saying I'm old, I can't sleep so back off? On the other hand, I have clients who sleep almost the whole day that I need to force them out of their bed by bribing them they can sleep after having a short walk with the physio.

Another example is my 11 year old sister who can't get enought of sleep. You sit her in the car, she'll fall asleep after driving a few blocks. You pop in a movie in the DVD, she'll fall asleep before the intro finishes. You ask her to get something for you from the other room you can be sure she won't be back and you'll find her dozing off. I, on the other hand, can't get enough sleep. There are only two reasons I would prefer to sleep: When I'm dead tired and during a boring class. Actually, there is one more reason: After I ate a huge meal (Who doesn't?). Anywhoo... its been a while since I slept on my bed... I just can't force myself to go to bed.. my usual routine.. I lay on my couch, watch TV then find myself waking up the next morning. I miss sleeping. I use to love to sleep. I use to look forward for my bed time so I can dream of flying... yups.. my favorite dream is when I can fly... I'll try to fly in any of my dreams.... but that's something to chat about next time..

According to Wikipedia, sleep is a "natural state of bodily rest... and essential for survival." So do we die if we do not sleep? or do we die from exhaustion related to not sleeping, which means it is not because of not sleeping but due to exhaustion? Research shows that the quantity of sleep is not as meaningful as the quality of sleep, that is, a person's major sleep is relatively inefficient and inadequate when it occurs at the wrong time of day. Hmmm...When is the right time to sleep then? Is it when we are sleepy? Does this mean I can excuse myself during a boring lecture to doze off? To be honest.. I don't khow how to elaborate this further... all I am sure of is there are only 24 hours in a day and I don't want to waste it with too much sleeping. So to the sleepers like my sister, sleep well but be sure to wake up and smell the beauty of life.